Sorry.

I must have been the worst girl you ever met.
I'm utterly sorry for what I've done. I'm truly sorry.
Am such a big letdown, I know.

Decreasing;

Baby, tell me what happened to us?
Where's all the patience we had towards each other?
Where's the understanding gone to?


Where's the mutual trust? ):

I'll be back!

Down with a stupid health issue. Operation in 2 days time. I'm mad nervous. ):

頂級的蠢人；

我曾經傻傻的以為，只要認真地喜歡一個人，一心一意好好疼惜她、真心真意愛護她、縱容她、 寵愛她、給她一切她想要的、為她而改等等，就可以打動她。卻原來，我只是打動了自己。想起了，還覺得自己是個小丑，在她眼裡只不過是個笑話...

Don't blame me for walking away when you never gave me any reason to stay.

忘了我；

你曾經讓我心痛，讓我孤單，也讓我痛徹淚流。这一刻，請還給我自由。遺憾不必說太多，你就讓沉默支撐我的灑脫。
我說服自己放手，就是希望看見你堅決的走。那一刻，你真沒有回頭。

忘記我愛你的眼眸、忘記我悲傷的挽留、忘記我所有一切曾經和你一起編織的夢、忘記我幸福的笑容、忘記我憔悴的寂寞。
記得從前那時候，記得現在這時候，不過是有個人擦身而過。

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you. How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I daydream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversations; laughing at funny things that you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Vanish..

Dear god, allow me to fade away and die.

Lowest;

Never ever say angry words towards me, becos for someone so stupid like me, I might just take it for real. To me, angry words are heartfelt words which you got no courage to say normally.

But what hurts the most was, you chose to leave me when my paranoia strikes me back once again.
Afterall, thanks for the truth. I know I simply suck big time......

Communication Breakdown;

At times, I don't even know what went wrong exactly. Why do we seems to have miscommunications most of the times. Throwing tantrums don't make things work out at all. I have super limited patience for any kinds of nonsense. So please, don't test nor try me. You will never wanna have a taste of my sucky attitude and foul temper seriouslyzz.

For all;

Happy Valentine's. (:

Dirty & Cheap Jerk;

So all the while, I have been the BIGGEST FOOL!
Thank you, you made me learnt too much, so much, very much.
I sincerely hope karma will strikes you back doubly, or I should say you deserve it back in more than 10times back. (:

Bei;

You will never know how much you truly meant to me till I chose to reveal it. (:

The Last Post for 2011

Its the day of the year. I have not yet came up with any resolutions other than work extremely hard. Didn't really officially came back to blog for like decades? I forgot how to blog already. Pardon me, do give me some time, and I'll get back here asap alright? (:

My life is almost like a drama for the whole of this year. I had blindly gone through 6months of nightmare, doing all sorts of crazy shits to salvage a meaningless relationship, when that particular chosen another one over me umpteen times. Now when I came to think of it, I felt so dumb seriously. -,-

However, I still can't let go of it now. Was it a habit or a horrible phobia left within me? I'm starting to ponder all the Whys and What Ifs. I once loved so hard, that I fell badly like no tomorrow. I held on so tight, and now I loosen my grip. Shouldn't had left me waiting in the cold and giving me endless heartbreaks. Okay, I think I sounded super contradicting. Argh.. Whatever. You can say am a coward for having no courage to face this, or I'm simply trying to avoid or whatsoever. I JUST DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT ANY FURTHER. Those times are my biggest fear, if you ever know.

Gonna work tomorrow, TURNED OFF. Well, just hope I can enjoy myself to the fullest tonight. Hehhe! ^^


P/S: Do people really change? If yes, then why do people says "A leopard will never change its spot?" Oh dear, I'm all mixed up. ):

Hi people, it's been quite some time ever since I last updated this blog of mine.

Life has been over-happening for me, till I can't even handle it. It's really a big headache. But no worries, I'm trying my best to settle everything step by step. Let's pray hard that things will go smoothly. (:

情為何物？

如果失去是苦，你怕不怕付出？
如果迷亂是苦，你會不會選擇結束？
如果追求是苦，你會不會選擇執迷不悟？
如果分離是苦，你要向誰傾訴？

有一種愛，明明是深愛，卻說不出來。
有一種愛，明明想放手，卻無法離開。
有一種愛，明知是煎熬，卻又躲不開。
有一種愛，明知無前路，心卻早已收不回來。

有時候，我真希望你能對我說聲對不起。不是因為怕我生氣，而是因為你害怕會失去我。

Perplex;

And now, I don't even know whether am I doing the right thing or not. But one thing for sure is, am feeling terribly awful inside out! I have got so many doubts in me, which I don't even dare to voice out. Becos nothing will ever change, you won't even wanna pause for a moment and listen to what I've got to say. You only want things to go your way. I have got no say at all. I don't understand why can't we really sit down and have a real good talk to sort out everything, to make things right and clear. Is that so hard? Could you please spare a thought for me? How would I feel eventually after all those you've said to me. Definitely, I'd love things to get better. Becos ykily.

Sober;

I let you believe that I'm okay when the truth is, I'm not and haven't been fine since we broke up. Why does this always happen to me. We end up good and why do you have to screw with my feelings all over again?
It really hurts and pains me terribly. Do you know how does it feels like to cry yourself to sleep every night? Those feelings will make you feel like dying instead of carrying on suffering like this.
Nobody has the ability to make things perfect, but everyone should be given chances to make it better. However, why am I not given a chance? Dear god, its not even once..

I love you.